HTSYB Advice Column
Somehow it became more unprofessional to attempt holding someone accountable for their unprofessionalism, than the original poor professionalism itself.
Let's change that together.
Share your story, ask for advice, be a part of the accountable side
My 1-on-1 turned into a 45-minute interrogation
My 1-on-1 this week turned into a 45-minute interrogation about why a project wasn't done yet. I walked out feeling attacked and now I dread these meetings. What do I do?
— HTSYB
I've been here 2 years and never had a performance review
I've been at my company for two years and have never had a formal performance review. I don't know if I'm doing well or not. Should I be worried?
— HTSYB
I was blindsided by a bad performance review
I just got a bad performance review out of nowhere. My manager never mentioned any of these issues before, and now suddenly I'm 'not meeting expectations.' I'm blindsided and furious. What are my options?
— HTSYB
Doing my manager's job for 6 months with no pay increase
For the last six months I've basically been doing my manager's job while she's been on an extended leave. No extra pay, no title change. They keep saying 'we appreciate you' but nothing is happening. What do I do?
— HTSYB
Can you actually build a real career while living abroad?
I've always wanted to work abroad but everyone tells me it's not realistic with a 'real career.' Is it actually possible to build a serious career while living internationally?
— HTSYB
Is my boss gaslighting me?
My boss frequently denies saying things I know they said, tells me I'm 'too sensitive,' and makes me feel like every problem at work is somehow my fault. I'm starting to question my own reality. Am I being gaslit?
— HTSYB
I'm new to a global team and feel out of my depth
I just joined a global team and I'm suddenly in meetings with people across 8 time zones. I feel like I'm missing cultural context and I don't know how to show up well. Any advice?
— HTSYB
I've been in a toxic job for 3 years and can't leave
I've been in a toxic job for three years and I keep making excuses to stay — the pay is decent, I know the work, it would look bad to leave. I'm miserable but paralyzed. Why can't I just leave?
— HTSYB
Should I report my manager to HR?
My manager has been creating a hostile work environment and I'm wondering if I should report it to HR. But I've heard HR protects the company, not employees. Is it even worth it?
— HTSYB
My responsibilities doubled but my salary hasn't moved
I've been at my company for 18 months and my responsibilities have doubled but my salary hasn't moved. I'm scared to ask for a raise because I don't want to seem greedy or ungrateful. How do I do this?
— HTSYB
I rage quit and now I'm terrified
I rage quit my job last week after my boss humiliated me in a team meeting. I have no savings and no next job. I'm terrified. What do I do?
— HTSYB
Do I have to explain why I'm taking a sick day?
My manager always asks me what's wrong when I take a sick day. I feel pressured to explain myself but I'm not sure I have to. What are my rights here?
— HTSYB
A coworker keeps talking over me and stealing my ideas
I have a colleague who consistently talks over me in meetings, dismisses my ideas, and then repeats them five minutes later as their own. How do I handle this without looking petty?
— HTSYB
They gave me a bonus instead of a raise
I asked for a raise after a strong year and my manager came back with a one-time bonus instead. Should I take it? Is this normal?
— HTSYB
I'm on a PIP — am I being managed out?
My manager has started documenting every little mistake I make and put me on a PIP. A colleague told me this is how they 'manage people out.' Is that true, and what can I do?
— HTSYB
I'm afraid to use my PTO
I have 15 days of PTO I haven't touched in almost a year because I feel like my boss will think less of me for taking it. Am I being paranoid?
— HTSYB
I think I'm about to be laid off — what do I do before it happens?
My company just announced a restructuring and my manager has been weirdly distant. I have a bad feeling I'm on the list. What should I do before it happens?
— HTSYB
My boss takes credit for my work in front of leadership
My boss consistently presents my work to leadership as their own without crediting me. I've worked so hard and I feel invisible. What can I do without burning everything down?
— HTSYB
I was fired with no warning — what do I do right now?
I was called into a meeting with HR and my manager and fired with no warning. I'm in shock. They cited 'performance issues' but I had no idea there were any. What do I do right now?
— HTSYB
My whole team got laid off except me
My entire team got laid off last week and I'm the only one left. I'm doing everyone's jobs now and I feel survivors' guilt and pure dread. What's happening to me and what should I do?
— HTSYB
Passed over for someone I trained — and I'm devastated
I was passed over for a promotion and they gave it to someone who has been at the company for less time and who I've been training. I'm devastated and honestly angry. Is there anything I can do?
— HTSYB
My manager keeps canceling our 1-on-1s
My manager cancels our 1-on-1s almost every week. When we do meet, it's only for like 10 minutes and they seem distracted. I feel invisible. Is this just how it is?
— HTSYB
How do I know when it's actually time to quit?
I've been unhappy at my job for about a year but I keep telling myself it'll get better. How do I know when it's actually time to leave?
— HTSYB
I feel like everyone knows what they're doing except me
Three weeks in and I feel like everyone around me knows exactly what they're doing and I have no idea. I'm scared to ask questions in case I look incompetent. How do I get through this without getting found out?
— HTSYB
Nobody told me anything on day one — is this normal?
I just started a new job and my onboarding was basically a Slack invite and a list of logins. No one has explained what I'm actually supposed to be doing. My manager seems too busy to talk. Is this normal, or is this a red flag?
— HTSYB
