Your Authenticity Needs Armor

Navigating workplace trust is one of those career lessons nobody actually teaches you — and in this episode of How to Survive Your Boss, Rajni Dhanjani drops the kind of real, hard-earned wisdom that only comes from years of battle scars across startups, corporate environments, creative agencies, and everything in between. From growing up in a cultural household that didn't quite match the room she walked into at her very first job, to managing toxic bosses, office politics, and the fine line between work bestie and professional liability — Rajni gets into all of it. She and hosts Kiana and Tara unpack why blindly trusting your coworkers (or your company) is one of the most costly early-career mistakes you can make, how to build a "professional persona" that protects you without killing your authentic self, and why being a human at work — not just an employee — is the single most underrated career skill. Whether you're fresh out of school, climbing the corporate ladder, or rebuilding after getting burned, this episode is exactly the conversation you didn't know you needed.

Key Takeaways:

🚨 Don't trust blindly — but don't go full cynic either. There's a difference between selective trust and walking into the office assuming everyone is out to get you. Find the middle ground.

🪞 You are a human first, an employee second. It took an entire MBA class 10 minutes to answer "what are you when you walk into work?" — and someone finally said a human. Don't forget that.

🎭 Build your professional persona. Your persona isn't fake — it's your authentic self with just enough protective distance. Think of it as your armor and your sparkle at the same time.

👀 Observe before you trust. People tell you who they are through their behavior, their talking points, and how they treat others. Pay attention before you open up.

🤫 Be careful who you vent to at work. If someone gossips with you, they'll gossip about you. There are no different rules for the workplace than there are for life.

💡 Be intentional about your workplace relationships. Don't rely on natural social instincts — work relationships require deliberate strategy, especially when promotions and visibility are on the line.

🧠 Bring your spidey senses to work. The same instincts you use to fact-check Instagram content or spot a red flag in dating? Use those at the office too.

🧭 Know your environment before you trust it. Company culture, regional culture, leadership style, and team dynamics all change what's appropriate — read the room, always.

Welcome back to How to Survive Your Boss, the one show bringing incredible guests, bringing real life advice for everybody to learn from. And today we have the incredible badass Ruy. Did I get that right? Did I nail it? The You Rajni Dhanjani: nailed it. How? How, how could you not? Kiana: Alright, that's what I'm talking about. That's what you're talking about. Kiana: Off to a perfect start. On this podcast. We will obviously leave this with a hundred subscribers. Rajani has some incredible experience both across creative marketing. She's built her own businesses, she's dabbled in corporate. She's kind of done the service side. She's really touched a whole lot of different business models and a whole lot of different corporate situations, and what I would say is still a pretty short period of time. And she's touched a lot of industries. She's also held a lot of roles or roles that were kind of like wear many hats roles. Mm-hmm. So you did a lot of, a lot of a lot of things. And she's navigated everything from a small team to a larger corporate environment. And so today she's here to bless us with her beautiful advice. I think we have a lot to learn today, so we're gonna get right into it. Awesome. Kiana: Everyone tells you. To build relationships at work. Mm-hmm. Kiana: They tell you to find mentors. Mm-hmm. To make friends, gotta build your network, all of that. Kiana: But what nobody ever talks about is that line between friendship and a professionally strategic relationship. Mm-hmm. And when we're at work, sometimes those lines can get blurred. And when those lines get blurred, it can really screw you over. It can be a big cost. And so today's episode is probably one of the biggest lessons everybody learns. Just no matter what industry, no matter what career you're in, no matter what you're doing. And I'm gonna pass it a little tee to kick us off and ask Rajani what we're gonna talk about today. Tara: I nie my, my big question, I came up with this one on my own. Good. Okay. If you could go back to like the very beginning of your career, like the very start and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? I'm gonna build on this, but the first thing is don't. Trust period. Or you could say, don't trust too many people, or don't trust just anyone. So I, I do, I said I was gonna build on it, and here's why. Because if you, if I isolate that and say, you know what, you're 20, whatever. Or I actually started young, I started at 20. Kiana: Yeah. Not only that, but I came from a very Asian cultural household and environment. And then here I was at, Kiana: yeah, a work environment that was very different from me. This was my first foray into the world. And because it was in a smaller company in a more kind of rural area versus like being in a metro. Mm-hmm. Or large environment or a urban center, whatever. Also, um. It was largely staffed by people who were more local and had grown up very differently from me. So here I was, I looked different. Ah, I bubbly, I'm super excited to be here. I apparently, Kiana: yeah, Rajni Dhanjani: brought inherent skills that, you know, a lot of people just didn't have. And so why I said twice now that I will build on it is obviously what you're sensing is like, Ooh, there's lots of lessons learned there, right? So don't just trust anyone, but here's the add-on. 20 some odd years later, don't lose yourself in, in this cynicism. Don't, don't walk away from who you are because you got burned or because you're like, I can't trust. I can't trust. I get it. I get it. Don't lose yourself. But don't think that just everyone is your best friend. Kiana: Yeah. I mean, I think too, just the concept of, I guess a lot of us look for easy rules. Mm-hmm. We look for black and white, so it's easy to say, don't trust anyone. And then I know every day I walk into the office, I don't trust none of these people. I'm an asshole. Step zero. Right. That a hundred percent black and white approach in these situations doesn't work, which is exactly why we're having these discussions because the gray space is not only very much situational, it depends on each case. It depends on each subject. It's gonna vary whether it's your manager. Mm-hmm. Or maybe it's a peer or it's a different department. All of those things are gonna change how you approach it. And you can't just take like one. Focus because if anything, maybe when you get burned, like me or other people, your initial response is like, fuck the world. Yep. I trust nobody. I literally, like, nobody can tame me. All companies are bad, all corporations are stupid. Anybody who wants to, you know, do any of this is like the worst. But the reality is, is like there are still some incredible companies out there. There are some incredible leaders out there. There's still like a lot of amazing experiences. So I don't know, Regina, you did it perfectly. It's like, can't lose faith, can't lose all. Let's, because think about it this way, that if you are there, if you're at that job, right, you're in that role. You are there and, and you're feeling this sting or you're, or when you start feeling like, wait a minute, how. How could you do that to me? How could you treat me like that? Like why am I getting dgb? But you're still there because you can't lose sight of the fact that one, you're there because you love that product or you love that industry or for the love of fuck it is your career, God dammit. You have the right to be there. And then what you have to do is you have to learn to, to navigate the storms that's. What it is. Kiana: Yeah, because, okay, lemme, let me back up one second and let me ask you this. Mm-hmm. Right. And this is al almost like a a, a foundation. Yeah. For me to the rest of the, the conversation. When you walk through the doors of your office, right? When you walk into your office, gimme an adjective. What are you, gimme a noun. What are you, Kiana: Hmm? What time of day? Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when you walk, you are walking through that office. Gimme it now. Not Kiana: because I get the adjectives that that's the auto conversation. Kiana: Okay? I'm walking through the office, what am I thinking? Usually I would say I'm rushing. I would, I would, I'm trying to think of a noun that's specific, but I'm like, I feel like anytime I've ever walked in the office, it's usually this like, oh, I'm trying to get to a meeting, or I'm trying to get to a room, or I'm trying to like get my stuff down. Like whatever it is. Uh, and then I think the second thing would be, it's actually such a good Kiana: question. Rajni Dhanjani: What, Tara, what about you? Let me ask you, when you, when you walk class, when you walk in the class, you, you walk into where you have to be, right? That public persona, whatever it is. When you walk into your place, what are you, Tara: I don't know, honestly, like for me it's definitely varies. I agree with Kiana, like it really for me. It's like the day, but I always like, I'm trying to be, 'cause you know, you look, you feel good, you look good. And that's why I try and mm-hmm. Do every day. Mm-hmm. Try and be uppity, like happy. So I, I say this because it was one of my classes when I was doing my MBA and I posed that question as my opener. To the presentation and you know, in those programs it's like 10, 15 minute presentations. And we went through, and plus it was one of those like Saturday morning classes, like the whole day type of situation. So also, oh yeah, the energy was, oh God. It was like, whoa, the seminars on themselves, but no one was talking. And so we went through, this person raised their hand, this person raised their hand to like a worker, an employee, and a commuter. A driver, pissed off, caffeinated. And then finally 10 minutes into it, someone, uh, raised her hand, and I think it was the second time and she was being sarcastic and she was, she was great like that. And she's like a human. And I'm like, who said that? Who said that? It took 10 minutes. Two guesses each for people to say that I am a human when I walk into work, and why are we having a conversation? Oh, if Kiana: we failed that question. But that's the thing. Well, you don't fail the question. You fail yourself when you forget it. Right. You fail yourself when you don't remember you're human. Oh my God. We fail ourselves when we're sitting here talking about strategies to navigate feeling like shit by the people. We are entrusting to develop us in the careers that speak to our souls at times. So that's the premise of all this. This is the premise of why you are doing this mm-hmm. Is not just to help you navigate in the shit show of everything that is Yeah. Fill in the blanks there. I don't even wanna, yeah. It's to say that we have everything from office politics and, and that actually is a psychological social phenomenon. The actual psychological phenomenon is that there's always hierarchies, insects have hierarchies. You are not, not gonna be in a hierarchy. But you're not, not gonna be human. And you know what? For all the bullies and all the whatever, you don't check your ethics at the door. When you walk into the office. There's no Jacqueline hiding here, so maybe I wanna be a hard ass. Kiana: Mm-hmm. It's, you can lose yourself, but you can lose yourself in the wrong environments. I remember, so we almost had a completely different conversation, but I still think it fits in here. Ra Rajani made this ridiculous statement to me. It still sticks with me. And she was like, I got too big for my environment. Like I literally, it couldn't hold me anymore and I had to go somewhere else where there was enough space for me to blossom in a sense. And this concept of like trusting and how do you navigate that, but you also can't lose yourself. And like, I think. I've, I've seen two classes of thought show up authentically, and then there's show up like a robot. Just do the job and go home. And I think there's two, this is the black and white side of it. Be a hundred percent at yourself a hundred percent of the time. Like always be honest, always be things for all my, like Audi, h Ds, if you have a pinch of the tm, like in your head, this feels like the easiest way to build trust and this is like how you show up and this is what you do. And then on the other half of it. Where you're like, I forgot, there's like this really famous, I think XCII agent or something and she has like a scratchy voice and she's always on the diary of A CEO and I just remember I saw a clip and she was basically saying, you are not yourself at work. Do not be a person at work. You are a completely different person. And I think maybe in a CIA job and in that type of work, perhaps that could be really, really necessary advice, especially if you're. Watching people die around. You're the one killing things like that. I can imagine, but Tara: Right. Kiana: I'm gotta unplug. Gotta unplug from that. If you are the other side of it and you're in corporate and you know, the closest thing to a gun is a restructuring, then I think, you know, it's like, it's just a very different world and you can't be one or the other and you have to really gauge the audience. And I think Reni, do you have any, I guess, ideas of how you assess that audience? Like how do you look at Rajni Dhanjani: when you're talking, you're, and you're not gonna get that early on. You're not going to get that without your battle scars. You are not going to get there unscathed and there, and while there could be the either the robotic or either I am a human sparkle, the truth of the matter where you, where you actually land is you have to find your. Persona, right? So your persona is fueled by your human sparkle, and there's just enough robot in that sliding scale where if you're gonna be in a meeting that's all like, what's our perfect? What's our like, whatever. Yeah. Come on in Cyborg, let's do this Skynet. You know, like we'll do it that way. And then. 97.5. It's one point 21 gigawatts. And that's my official answer. Then, uh, and then you have, you know, things like where maybe you're doing something that's a little bit more on the qual side, you know, especially like for those in digital marketing and those in experiential and digital experiential right now. Right. That's a huge thing where we start, we're activating new ways. Yeah. That's deeply personal and that's a lot of psychology. That's young. Freud, that's the, um, oh, the third guy. We never talk about him. I feel like we should talk about him. Maybe we need to find him. Kiana: I know I have a series I have to text you after this, by the way, that someone sent me. It's like a 52 1 hour long per episode series on just a professor, uh, really popular psychology professor just digesting his entire work. That's Kiana: over 52 hours. That's how I know about fluid. Yeah, but I mean, to your point, do you think when you're in those early days, 'cause you're, to your point, I mean part of the who I can trust is mm-hmm. Internal gut check feeling you build over the years. Right. But are there any specific things that we can tell, you know, we can help people look for, to help them start to build that? I think that Kiana: lesson. I almost think that at first, before you see anything tactical, it does, let's go into the psychological and you and I feel like this generation and, and the, the people who are entry level now are far more in tuned with social skills and social cues and just willing to accept people as they are. But we're also in a society, and I'm talking globally because even when I talk to my young family members overseas. You know, people do talk about things like gas lighting and trauma bond bonding and, and, and triggering. So there's a global language and understanding and acceptance of people signaling things to you, and then people are receiving those. That said, now depending on if you go into one of these huge fortune five, fortune one companies, whatever, those, that could be sterilized a little bit too, right? Because at the end of the day, you're walking into this massive machine of. Profit margin. And I know that that's profits, and I know that that is a very distinct example, but I wanna, I wanna just talk about that as a caricature for almost like a caricature for a second, because you're gonna have a CA certain level of stoicism, they're gonna find people that maybe they have these catchphrases and they say them all the time, like, that's great. Oh, that's great. And you think they're being practiced, they're being polite. They, they have this sort of. You know, physical and verbal self possession. Um, and you're like, there, you're like, you just said that about whatever. You said that because somebody kicked their dog. And you're like, oh, that's terrible. And then, then you said that because like, I, I accidentally misspelled my name on an email. Like, oh, that's terrible. Separate executive. Separate executive blink. I mean, blink once if you're in there. I think that, I think that's a tale, but someone is, they are maintaining their distance. They are, they're maintaining their distance. And they're sizing you up. That's, that's an, that's a possibility. Kiana: Mm-hmm. Seeing a legitimate mm-hmm. Like sizing of people up when they meet them. Personality. Yes. Yes. And sometimes it's not veiled. There's no reason to be, especially if you're walking into an environment where you know there's a queen beat. If you're walking into an environment and people are eager to give you, but they are spilling that, that tea is piping hot. It's gonna get spilled. There is no shade. There is only the parking lot here. And you're like, do you know me from Adam? Like, how do you know? Like if you've ever seen space balls, like how do you know I'm not your father's college roommate? You know, like, how do you, how do you know that the whatever. So you don't know people, when people are ready to talk about people. What does that say? When people are ready to, they're, they're always practiced, always distanced. You know that? What, where about this, the person always has to state their opinion in the room. What about the person who's always siting their, their past wins? Well, that's different because we, funny Kiana: me, so people like it when we, uh, Kiana: to say something or else I can't pay attention if I don't participate, cannot. If don't participate. Then I look at the wall, there's an analog clock and then game over because someone's gonna be like, oh, what time is it? I don't know how to tell time on that day. So the one thing was when someone's always like, oh yeah, when I did this, when I did that. Well that sounds like it was 20 years ago. And what are you doing now? So you're just getting by and did you get here by throwing people under the bus? You know, are you just playing golf with the right people? And so part of the reason why I wanted to just give the context of, hey, I'm gonna give like a large company, um, example at first because you'll have these ranges. You know, you're also talking the ranges of, of psychology, of these types of personalities that you could run into that you might not necessarily run into, say, on the agency side or production house side, or you know, a media company. I've always said that the corporate side has more bite. Agencies have more bark. Like I said, you are not getting there unscathed. And, and that's the difference. So because I went through. A bigger hell on the corporate side. Then I went into the agency. You bitch is crazy. What? You're trying to make me feel bad saying what like that is, you're so cute. No you're not. Kiana: Our culture is, our culture is, yeah, but you know what? At that point I equipped work before your personal lives. That's understanding of here is really business is operating. It's rooted here. This is the outcome of your decision. This is what the client means when they say something like this, this is what they're talking about. When they say, well, it's on the, it's on the down low, but maybe in the next quarter, like it's already done. Mm. That's what they mean. And so unless it's something like, we cannot say this because the FCC will arrest you. Right? Like, so there were those things. So I'm like, fine, you can bark all you want, but you're not intimidating me. You're getting all my nerves, but you're. Kiana: Yeah, so I guess we can, we can kind of recap that. I guess there's three pieces, right? So first piece is look at what they're saying. Pay close attention to how much information they give you. I know I, and this is probably a problem I have a little bit, but I have a tendency to kind of be a bit of an open book. And as I've gotten older, I've learned how to pull back a little bit because you can really gauge energy at a beginning of a conversation when you first meet someone like Regina and I. Went into like childhood trauma after two seconds of meeting. But it's not like that with everybody. It's not, you know, it's not the same. So I think listening to what they're saying is a big one, looking for patterns of something. I heard you say NIE is just like if they're saying the same things a lot or maybe they do certain things at work that make you. Think, oh, they're like the personality higher. They're not the technical person. Maybe they're taking credit somewhere where credit's not due. And then I think like the, maybe the largest one, which was alluded to, but not explicitly said. It's just that gut instinct. Like there will always be a feel. And I think some of us. Are more in tuned with our feelings than others. I know when I was at my worst and very, very disassociated, I couldn't even tell you what I like to do. Like I, so, you know, if you're listening to this and you're in a very high disassociated state, then you probably are like that gut feeling's wrong. Always. Okay. Maybe don't listen to that. Like that. I wanna add to that is. Kiana: No. And now I, I wanna turn the, I wanna pivot the conversation. So forget the kind of old, traditional, corporate, whatever. Now we wanna talk about, you know, Novo company environments, the, you know, the newer work, um, staff and yeah, not just small, but just younger people and maybe, you know, there people that are, have. They're going into the, the workplace now and their childhood consisted of nine 11, then the great recession, then COVID. So what even is normal? And what I will tell you, the, the very important thing, building on what you just said about trust, your instincts is also make sure that what you need to feel whole emotionally, mentally, you are getting outside of work. Do not bring your daddy issues into work. Do not, if you haven't been hugged enough as a child yet a dog, turn him gay or whatever, I don't care. Do not, do not go into the office half of you, because what you're gonna do is you're gonna end up latching onto those energies that you're gonna combine with. Because at the end of the day, we're all a social experiment. Right? So at the end of the day, you're talking about at least 40 hours for, and everyone's back in the office now. The return to office, yeah, you're, you're gonna end up. It's not transference, but Kiana: yeah. But you might end up misreading things because of the need in you, because you are giving up at least 40 hours of your week to be here and you're building relationships. You're working on projects. You've gone out to to lunch and are happy hours. Probably you bitched about the same people you know. I we're in the age of Slack. Let's just be honest. Slack is the devil's workshop. It's so quiet. Do not take it away. Kiana: Yeah. I mean, oh yeah. But also, but also guys like, like companies can pay extra money to access. It's not the extras, Kiana: everybody's messages. So be careful what, what you send on Slack's is not a lesson Kiana: I have to learn. Kiana: No. But my company, for example, like one of the companies I worked for that wanted like. Due to toxicity levels, in theory, should heavily want to pay for such an ability to monitor. But it was like an extra two grand a month or something like, so they didn't, so that's a culture that tells me there's toxicity up to the ears. There is a blame culture. There's a, there's a scapegoat. They will martyr someone for fun. Tara: Regina. Yeah. Yeah. Tara: Could, could they absolute bring, they can bring up, bring up your Slack. Slack, your email. If you doing a one-on-one, they're like cameras all over your office. Tara: Sorry. Right. It's all corporate. And then for, oh yeah. If you work at an agency or you work at a media thing, I mean, read through some of those all corporate owners, because your clients share stuff with you that's pre-public, pre-market, whatever it is. And so really it's like if you, if you met your soulmate at work at an agency, you would have to disclose that to HR probably a whole lot faster than you would have to in a corporate setting because you're, you're managing a lot of it Kiana: well, but also agencies are like cesspools, so I wouldn't, agencies are like a different bucket and they're, they're very well known for having a lot of scandalous sexual. Things and misconducts and whatnot there. I think in general, if you've ever seen Mad Men, Tara: yeah. Kiana: Like there's a reason why that show was so popular and there's a reason why people in advertising still reference that show today as real, Tara: that's eating me up bad. You do that as a reason. Like if they catch you like saying crazy things, they bring you into me. They're like. Exactly. You're firing. Exactly. Oh, because like, and I actually, the, the thing with the firing that was said depends on how much they wanna fire you Kiana: and how much you've cost. Had listen to recently, and I think that, you know, some of the things that you were saying like, listen, if they wanna fire you, this is one of those sort of tactical execution, like how they can bring it to, to. Because if it's you're at will, you don't have to say anything. That's one thing. But they're like, dude, why are you talking smack? Like that could be. Mm-hmm. Kiana: It's literally, it's so easy to, it's so easy to fire somebody in the us. Absolutely. It's such a different environment. And the thing is, is like people forget that they're on company property, on company dime. Mm-hmm. Like that laptop you get. I know a lot of companies that put tracking softwares in the laptops. I mean there are, there are tools that exist today in the universe and the general ether, right? So you have project management tools. This is where you like track how much time you spend on something, you know, projects you're working on, whatever. But I was actually like pitched this one tool that was like a project management system, but it just recorded your screen all day and would automate and tell the computer like what you did all day based on what your screen recording showed that whole, whole day. Then it would send a debrief to your manager. That is like AI level micromanagement shit, but important because if you're at a company like that, two things. One, they don't always necessarily mm-hmm. Disclose all of this stuff that they monitor. Like it's not, it's safer to assume everything is being monitored than to assume it's not. Like, for example, at my last company, I knew our Slack was not monitored because we didn't wanna pay for it. But I still operated as absolutely, if it was. Tara: Mm. Kiana: And if I need to tell somebody some tea or talk some shit, I'm like, call myself. Let's grab coffee. Let's have a drink afterwards. Right. Like, but we're not gonna go off message Rodney and be like, damn our boss. Yeah. Kiana: So stupid. Did you see Kiana: I'll you Kiana: dumb strategy that they presented to them even when you were lu into this sort of bonding for it, for your work bestie. Right, right. That's the, that's the OG term for it. Now it could be trauma bonding. They owe you nothing. They are not sitting down at Thanksgiving dinner with them. They're not your mama. They're not your sister. Yeah. They, you are not paying for their liver. Okay. They owe you nothing. And if they're the sort of person where you can bitch to, they're gonna be the person that's gonna rat out too. So you wanna be careful and even a person like that, I, I wouldn't text that. I wouldn't, I would not create a, a written documentation or especially not on per uh, company, but not even on honor's. Kiana: Interesting. It's a lot. It's a lot. Wow. It's a lot. Yeah. That's like that navigation, I guess. Tara: Right? Kiana: Can you maybe, okay. Can you maybe take us through like a super specific example, not like a name or anything obviously, but like just an example of like, here's how the relationship started in the beginning. Here's things that I either accepted. The thing is ignored. It would have to be something really early in my career. Because, and I think maybe it's just because I'm, I'm a stoic Pisces, I'm a stoic artistic Pisces at the core, and then this is the fanfare, right? But I just, I just never was, you know what? I will tell you that there was Kiana: yeah, a time early where I did do that, where it is fun to bash your boss with your, your bestie. And that was a person who ultimately turned around and told someone who was not our boss. Was a peer in a different department, but a peer that she would bitch about also. So what does that tell you? Kiana: Actually, yes. This is like the whole, if someone talks shit, other people Kiana: to you, they will 100% talk about is there are no to other people. There rules for the workplace and there are to to to life. There isn't. What happens is we adjust that view. If this is this, the continuum on which we're living, we just adjust that view. Within that sliding scale like an advocate, right? So within that, you still have to maintain your ethical mixture, your ambition, which will allow you to put some things to rest in, in pursuit of the goal. You know, you'll, you'll still have to be you in your full composite. With these people in this controlled environment. And then you add to that these, you know, these reactive factors, like, oh, there's a crisis. Oh, this is a deadline. Oh, we didn't make our numbers. Or you know, this client is leaving. You know, electricity is cut all through the us we can't, whatever. And this was something that could be, yeah. And it could be something that, that, that's time sensitive. Right? So say for example, if you're in pharmaceutical industry and you're working on a drug launch, you know, and you know the DA is going to approve and this has to go live because it's been classified as a lifesaving drug, it's fast, whatever. And all these things happen and the clients are not gonna be, they're not gonna be like, we understand there's no wifi. You think that's what client said? I remember getting yelled at mm-hmm. By a client once. It wasn't even my fault. They asked for my. Apartment manager and I was like, okay, hold on one second, let me go. Like, I actually physically got up to go see where she was and I said, all right. I am like John, Joe, whatever the heck his name was. I'm like, you know, she's out with some clients on, on the floor because we had a manufacturing facility also. She's out on the floor. I think she should be done about 15 minutes. And why don't I have her give you a call back within half hour? Does that work for you? And if not, you can talk X, Y, Z. And then this fucking asshole, this fucking asshole's. Like, oh, and we're not important. We're not important clients. And that was his genuine response. And so years later when I ended up working at that asshole company, which apparently, you know, everybody, it was good for the career was good resume. Oh Lord. I already knew. I mean, but the thing is, you know, right. You know, within your industries, industries are circuitous. Like it's, it is what it is. And so that's again. That's where the persona comes in because that's also your protection, right? The distance you maintain without compromising the sparkle of your intelligence. Now, you know, not to make a dirty joke, right? There are things you know not to do, but you don't always know the nuances. Oh, that's interesting. That can change from job to job, manager to manager event. Tara: Mm-hmm. Preach. Okay, because let me tell you, I love Kiana: also to your point. Individual company culture can change a lot of that, or locational culture can change a lot of that. Mm-hmm. I mean, I, you know, right. Well, I was saying like I met with a few Asians that are like in Atlanta, for example, and like. There's a lot of racist comments made towards them still to this day, by other people of color. So it's like in some rooms things seem appropriate, in some rooms they don't seem appropriate if you're going to trust somebody. Mm-hmm. In the workplace, I think the idea is, is you don't trust anyone that you physically work with. 'cause at any point in time, somebody can point that finger and say, Rajni sent me this text message, talking shit. Right. But then at the same time, you don't wanna like adopt that mentality so much to the point where you're no longer yourself at work. Yeah. And you're not getting along with people or, I mean, I'm a really social person. I buddy up with people real quick. Mm-hmm. Always been that way. I probably trust too much still 'cause I'm still earlier on in my career, haven't been burned enough yet. But I have definitely been burned enough to not just trust, right? Like now I, now I stop when I first meet someone and I wait a little bit, do a little vibe check, get a little bit of a sense for like, 'cause you just know sometimes certain people you just click, it's. Instant, there's nothing. And then with certain people, you can't force it for the life of you. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with them or that, let, lemme take the, you just, it's water and ice. You like, lemme you, I Kiana: don't know. Both people, both. There's always a sense of formality. What if there's always a degree of separation between you and your best work bestie. Okay. And, and. I, I, there's, there's an asterisk note to that, but what's so bad about always maintaining a certain amount of distance with anyone you work with? Is that so terrible? Is that so unattainable? Does that hurt you? Does that make you feel like, and and this is now to anyone watching this, what does that make you feel? Does that trigger anxiety to be. True. I can't ever fully just relax, but you know what? When you, when you walk outside the door, can you fully relax? If you're crossing the street? Even like, you have to look both ways. You we're always in a sense of alertness, right? If we're dating someone, we started, right? Mm. If we we're just moving in with someone, we're not constantly relaxed, like, nobody's farting in front of this guy yet. Right? So could we just, Kiana: it's almost almost like I, I almost wanna say your piece of advice Yeah. Is really more just don't. Trust and get comfortable with your environment. It. 'cause I, it's, while you're talking, I'm just sitting here thinking, and I'm like, you know what, no wonder everybody finds their best friends during intern years because during intern years, you're at the start of your career. You don't know shit about not trusting people. You just, you just letting it all hang loose with the people you work with in the office. You get super close because you're like figuring out these formative initial steps of adulting together. And then you leave. And then by the time you get older, when you start building relationships, people are more cautionary and they're more, I don't know, they're just like more intentional about it because they know they've been burned so many times. They got sloppy with their relationships or how they guarded their own trust. And I think even within myself, I've had these issues. I got very comfortable in a space. I trusted my environment to be a certain way, and my interpretation of in that environment was wrong. And I acted in, I guess, my best interest, you know, assuming that I had this trusted environment to come back to you actually, like lo and behold, Kiana: did not, and it was not the same. You needed to get burned, right? You needed to look that lesson. You needed to fall on your ass. But this is the one thing that I genuinely how not help. And I know that not everyone can actually feel this to the core of that. I, I forget who said this, but he said, your life is happening for you. And I'm not saying that I'm at the top of my game right now, but I know I feel that everything that happens, even the stuff like my machines breaking down, all the military retrograde stuff that happens, right? It's happening for, for my favor. It's happening for me. And so again, you're not not gonna have the bad ex uh, uh, experiences. There is no hard and fast rule book of navigate this, do this. It is very conceptual. That's why you had to, you know, kind of come in and like, and say, okay, um, let me carve out these three pillars with my earlier answers. It's because at the end of the day, are you relying on yourself? You're saying, this is the best version of myself. I know better than to trust this person. I know I'm here for the love of the game, man, I just, I really wanted to get into this company. I'm here. Like, look man, no hands. That sort of stuff to focus on that. But you know what? You're there just like the 500 other people. There's only two promotions. So, Kiana: and school kind of does that too, right? It's so Kiana: DI think like the, the social dynamics in school, we try to apply in the workforce at the beginning, I think. Right? But it's such a different environment because in a class, right, we all have to be here. Like we are all not choosing this. We are here taking this class. 'cause we have to, now if you're in college, technically you're choosing and paying. But in a general sense, like it's not the same as like being paid different. It's a different world, right? So you go into this space like a teacher's never gonna fire a student for being a bad student. So then they put you in group projects so that you can learn what it is to work with people who suck and people who don't suck so much and they're like, Hey. Good luck. Right? Wish you the best. And then they kind of send you out there and you learn these social skills. I had to learn a lot of these the hard way. 'cause I've always been such a like, just get the work done and be smart person. And then I learned that dumb people don't like being told they're dumb. So then it's like, how do you approach telling someone? Did you read the instructions? Did you not read the instructions? Because we're, I'm confused and like the school thing. Right? But I, I, I bring up this example. Yes. Because it's in all of those cases, there wasn't. A like overarching authority that we were trying to please. Like, it wasn't like, oh, if I just crush it in my degree and, and then if this person, person at the top sees me doing well, then I get my diploma. Versus if they don't see me doing well, I get no, like, it's not like that. It's just you go to class, you pay, you do the work, you work with people, you leave, you do the stuff. Work is different. Work is a student can get fired. Work is someone can get kicked out from that thing. Someone can be pushed out of that department. Someone can be ignored for a promotion or overlooked for an opportunity and they don't get to actually raise their hand 'cause no one cares. You guys can raise all of your hands you want. We already picked our favorite, like it's a different space and you have to approach it, I guess being conscious of that. And it's not that you can avoid it. Because you're gonna get burned. But if you can be 2% smarter at the start of your career and not willy-nilly trust, and you can be, and you can be intentional with your relationships, and you can pay attention to what someone says to you, and you can. Tara: Mm-hmm. Kiana: I guess. Mm-hmm. Take the time to. Understand not just the person you're talking to, but the system you're in and like where your power suit and hopefully that you're not working for a certified psychopaths. Does anyone dynamics between I'm the only Kiana: your, yeah. Oh yeah. Kiana: Like leadership. That's right. That's how the culture is on a day-to-day basis and what people say. I um, I think that, so to. The exiting comment with that is like you, you know, it'd be 2% smarter. When you said, and I actually really loved the phrase that we got a whole Kiana: damn podcast because this way whatcha you Kiana: talking about? You guys are online, especially Instagram, and I think TikTok is a little bit different, but especially on Instagram. You guys are on Instagram who is trusting. The content, the even the content that they're subscribed to, the follow, you know, whoever they're following, who's trusting that content anymore, are your antennae up? You're like, that's bullshit. And there's like this whole thing, and then you're like trying to take it down where people are watching True Crime podcast. You're trying to take shit down. Where does that go? Why is, why are you retiring that? Why is that going into a parking lot? Just so you can be like, okay, I'm here at work. You know, abused. No. Bring that your people have their instincts and they have their spidey senses. Yeah. So that No, no, no, no, no, no. I love the things you say. Kiana: Yeah. Bring that filter. Yeah, I think that's, sorry, you go ahead. I'm like, that's just brilliant. I'm like, I'm having like a brain explosion over here because. Well, no, it's just there's like, there's trusting this environment, but also I think mm-hmm. Trusting what you were taught. Now you've brought a whole nother layer of this to me in my head, because I'm sitting here and I'm like, when I was in school, I was taught that for-profit companies, number one job is to generate profit and therefore just using logic. Basic brain like, like two brain cells only to get to this conclusion, I would think all decisions are made in lieu of getting the most profit, and I very much trusted that logic, like I trusted the system that a for-profit company. Is for profit and the decisions that they make are for the profit generation, and that's what it's all focused on. And I genuinely trusted that and I applied that objective to all my peers. Yeah, by default I said, Hey, all of us are in this place of work. We know the place of work's. Number one goal is to make as much money as possible. All of our goals should also be to make as much money as possible. I should not have trusted that. That is definitely not what happens in businesses, like business decisions are not exclusively made for the profit generation. There is always layers of emotions. There's the leaders behind the decisions. I mean. I was talking to somebody who quite literally went through a layoff, and the layoff only happened because they, the leadership hired a consulting firm to come in and make a recommendation of who they should fire, and they never talked to anyone, which is very standard. That's exactly how these things happen. The only reason the consulting firm was hired was so that. They had someone else to blame for all of the choices that were made and lives upholded. I think I might have stuttered there. I apologize. Kiana: Going back to this initial point, it's like, you fuck no. You Kiana: trust these ideas. They tell you HR is for people again and no again. All right. Like Kiana: no. Literally the furthest joking around. You know, slack and the, they can record everything. Before there was Slack, there was hr. Kiana: Repeat it 12 times. Yeah. So the feedback has been showed up. It's so creepy because I feel like one of those, those scenes now, like that's what America, Kiana: the up the write up, the, just like a standard meeting with you just become. So Kiana: you know what? It's more like it's. I'm on a new level now of this piece of advice because I'm like, if we wanna black and white it, if we wanna just consistent rule for all time to come question everything. That's the rule question, everything. Don't trust what people tell you. If you have this idea in your head that you like, no one explicitly said it to you, or maybe someone even did explicitly say it to you, but if you have this thought that's like every time I walk into this company's doors, I should. I don't know. Get a cup of coffee, get a cup of water, and then like sign this document because that's what everybody else does, right? And you just like kind of follow the path. 'cause everybody else walks in, they coffee, they get water, they sign this document, and then they go sit down on their desk. And no one actually said anything. Coffee. Wow. Kiana: It's just people get their coffee to get the water, but you don't like coffee, you can't drink that shit. Like if you're like me and you take medication, right? Can't bring that. Can't start the day with that. So it's like, so then you start to like you, but you just fall into it. It's like human condition. You don't wanna be the odd ball, so you just, you start getting coffee, water, you sign the paper and you go sit at your desk every morning and NYS advices. Before you get the coffee, before you get the water, and before you say about anything, question everything. When you talk about conformance behavior in work environment, where can I trust this? Essentially the goal, you're in a box, right? You're in a box culture and conformity is the name of the game. That is what fuels the, that persona and that whatever that move, so. Be prepared, and this is okay, but be prepared. Be like, why aren't you drinking coffee? Everyone drinks coffee. I don't drink coffee because whatever it, it upsets my stomach and I'd much rather make smarter choices that can help me be more productive. Boom, bitch. Talk to me again. Say more, say more. So there's always a way to navigate, but you gotta think about it this way. You got I, because I, it sounds so morose to, to say it like that even though you're, yes, you are right. Always question everything. Don't, don't try. But think about it. If you went into the most gorgeous, lush rose garden of your life, like this is it man. This is that rose garden. There are thorns literally everywhere. Yeah. Are you not gonna go because of the thorns you're gonna get, correct. You're gonna get poked. You are, you are. But at the end of the day, oh, could you drop it? I know. Like if I, Kiana: lemme just get Kiana: my mic. Fortune cookies. I'm coming after. I'm coming after Johns. Are you kidding me? I'm making some fortune cookies. Like your Kiana: dad. I just like with the most beautiful rose garden. That was good. My God. Put a t-shirt on that. Jesus Christ. Okay, let's take them outta business. I like it. Exactly. Do you love your dog so much? Every day? That's those beautiful, think about the people eating you love, love them. It's like that. That's Kiana: life. Life is a day garden of Kiana: Roses, and every still has thorns. People we love. So how do you Kiana: pick them? You need to not only leave the house, maybe the continent I hear they're sending people to Mars. Consider that just, just a week or two either. Come on and it's the same. Three come back. Yeah, let me, I was Kiana: just tell Tower this. Um, you could always postcard them, but whatever. But the point being it's not any darker. Where else is space just for Kiana: three years or something casual. I dunno. Exactly. But it's no darker. Kiana: Yeah. That's, I'm sure they got Facebook up there from like, there's these things in the, I'm kidding, but it's, I'm, he's Kiana: trying to monetize the Kiana: moon. Now. I'm sure it, what you're doing is you're a heightened state of focus. Kiana: Like how do I get recognizing from the, this is not my family. This is not my loved one. This is not my neighbor. These are, these are neither the people that I'm emotionally safe to just be a crazy brat around when I feel like being a crazy brat. These are not my neighbors where I've developed rituals yet, and any rituals you do develop with this cohort are gonna be formalized and they're gonna be very external from your most natural self. This is act, it's not. A problem. It is a lesson to be learned and it is a behavior to be managed and you yourself have to maintain yourself as you grow and you change and your challenges. Ask more personal sacrifices of you as you get up, because someday you're gonna have to be the one firing that old person or whomever. And I say that. With, and I'm, and I, I'm not saying that offensively, I'm saying that like, this person is four years from retirement, paying for their kids' college, whatever, what are they going to do? But you know what, those management consultant people came in Kiana: and lying to somebody space and that's the number that got checked and this dude's gotta go. Right. Exactly. I, I will tell you. And I will tell you, you will get challenged. You will get challenged in ways that maybe don't. Yeah. And won't, and they brought the management consultants in so that they didn't get whatever for wrongful termination because he's, I'll one example, because this is, so, Kiana: there's all the layers to them. Clear cut. And yet it's a gray area situation. I did mention, you know, I made the comment, I'm like, oh, make sure you don't work for certified psychopaths, which we have. And so there was one who, despite the, I love my team, I love my department, I'll, I'll always fight for you guy, whatever did run. In a very autocratic way, and this was, you know, uh, at an agent was actually very autocratic, very prescriptive, very, like I would be in the middle of pushing the button to make a decision, which was absolutely okay for my level, in fact was the thing to do for a start point, whatever, all of that, right? And it's like, no, I wanna do it and then put the kibosh on it for two days. And I gotta tell you, this is the instinct talking because Kiana: yeah, see at a, especially at a certain age, you can say this, but people always tell you who they are. You don't even have to know them. Kiana: The job. Yeah. But I got the sense that, all right, this person wanted to look things up and then come back with like a nice Google informed answer. But all that being said, right, there's, there's context there. There's little micro stories, there's little pieces of that that, that might appeal to to, and you know, some people watching this and I remember one afternoon, uh, was a request, move the client, call back and then come and get me, you know, I have a meeting right up. Come and get me. And I wanna be on the call. It's like, okay, fine, whatever. And I was like, what's someone at your level wanting to do at a, you know, routine call anyway, but whatever. And, and I knew that things were pretty bad by then anyway, so that meeting was with someone that they had hired, um, to kind of be the buffer in between, like, Hey, I'm the grant pool of things, and, and here's the, the who's gonna be your, your day-to-day. So she's onboarding the person who's gonna be the, the day-to-day. And I was like, knowing this person, she's clearly stating which ones are her favorites and whatever. So I knocked those 10 minutes to the call, 10 minutes to the call, and looks at me as if I am the audacity of interrupting, knocking on a, on a glass door, by the way, because you know how the agencies are all cool with the glass and open it. That's fine. Like open communication check. You just don't want anyone smoking pot and falling asleep. I mean, it's New York City agency life. Believe me, everyone's smoking pot. That's why the bathrooms are closed anyway. No, you can't. Kiana: I know. It's the power move. Maybe. Maybe. I think it's less about the, the hooking up in the office. It was about like. Whatever. I was like, oh, this is very high school, so I, I knocked and I got this look like and falling asleep. I kicked a baby Kiana: and probably sleeping with somebody in the office. How stupid are you? Kiana: All three of those things. And then I'm like, Hey, I just want to let you know, you know, it's 10 minutes to the call. And then she gave me this look. Oh my God, I'll never forget. She's like, she looked at the person. Mm-hmm. As if like seeing I told you, like so sad and stupid and that like that look, I can't even imitate it because I actually cannot feel that much disdain for something else. It was like, like it was just like, he like, Kiana: ooh. How would anyone feel? And now I'm actually talking to the general audience. 'cause how would you feel standing there? Right. And like people are like, oh my gosh, I would've melted with, you know, panic attack, whatever a trigger for you. You've been like, I would've gone to me too. I'm like, Kiana: what? You're fucking pathetic. You're 50 something years old and you made it a point to play these games. Not only that, but you perpetuate them with people that you cherry pick and hire. And then, because you probably think I'm younger than I am. Yeah, yeah. She probably, she probably thought I was younger than actually. Yeah. You take joy and your power source is bullying people who are young enough to be your children. And all you do is talk about how much you love your kids. So you are sad. You are sad. Do not feel upset. Because when people treat you that way, because when people treat people that way, that's an issue on them, not you. And they have to treat you that way to try to take them down, right? Because you have to be more manageable. You are a threat to you. There's something you are doing that's getting to them. And if you are annoying and like making jokes at the wrong time, fine girl. That's you. Let's, we should talk. That's a different podcast. But if the clients are like, that's great, yes, I'd love you. You know, you start putting some poison pills in place, or it's like one mistake, and then you're like, I'm gonna take that, that's, I gonna make sure that it's mistakes all the time. And that is why there are no hard and fast rules because that, that's a different episode would also exist in corporate, but it would execute very differently. It wouldn't be as pathetic and desperate. The desperation would be there internally. Right. But executionally would not be so desperate. I remember another time. There are, there are lots of things, there are lots of experiences. I remember someone made a comment to me like, well, you know, I, you know, you have a habit of joking around when you're nervous. And I'm like sitting back in my chair like, like, you know, the SN L thing with Kate McKinnon, which she's like, true, Kiana: you know? Abducted with my, yeah, and I'm sitting back like this and I'm like, what? It's just as important to me, but what I'm doing is choosing to preserve my health because it's not worth getting this upset over. There's a solution. Look at the numbers. There's someone doing math right now. Yes. It's, she's like, Kiana: need, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm like, no. The, the one who made that comment about the, I know you joking around when you're, um, like whatever was actually was a, another line manager and someone kind of ally too, like he was kind of ally. Kiana: Was that your boss? He's so stoic. That he's not gonna work against you on purpose. Like he's not gonna do that shady shit, but he's not that like yeah, emotional. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be your cheer. You earn, you earn that respect and he'll give you that respect. And that's it, man. There's, there's no second guessing that's right there. And I love that. But that was his lens and it was wrong. Kiana: Okay. Yes, yes. Kiana: Yeah. Ask it. How do you, I'm sorry. Navigate trust. There's no thunder. There's no stealing. She's not paying attention. Tara: No, I am, I'm listening to Raja. I don't even care about these notes. All I can listen to is her talk. Mm-hmm. She has this woman. I'm I'm a goddess. Tara: You girl. You have a lot of whimsy. You do. You got that sparkle like overly. I can't even focus on like, no questions. 'cause you just like, yeah, you're whimsy, girl. That's your new Don't, don't, no more sparkle. You're magical. Kiana: Whimsy. Tara: Whimsy. Kiana: Why? Why don't you go ahead and ask her how to navigate trust with her boss, I or a boss bosses. That's Kiana: kind the, that's how Jen and I, no. Um, Tara: okay. Well I think that this so RA combination of everything navigate, we talked about, which first and foremost we need to listen. Other people recognize who they are. You know, everyone has their love language. And that's at work too. It's what is your success language or what's your influence? Like people talk about influencers, that's one thing, but let's talk about being influential and you need to be persuasive, right? We're always selling ourselves. What is it? First of all, you need to say things in a way that falls on the ears that are listening to your words. You know, they're not gonna like a hundred percent of everything that you do. It doesn't matter. But when it matters, do you show up, right? Mm-hmm. If you're asking a question in a meeting, for example, just to ask the question, be like, all right, I checked the box, you know, I'm engaged that, that they're gonna know that what? Tiana said about being authentic is first and foremost you gotta be you so you can connect with others. And then you start building that persona. And, and, and I gotta tell you, this is coincidental, but I believe in this so much. And then I was walking and I just walked into this and I had to get it. Kiana: Yeah, it is. And it's vegan. Big love, but at the end of the day, if you're going, you don't start by being exactly who you are and then letting your senses pick up all the stimuli that you're walking in and through. Right. You're at work where you gonna get that? I love Kiana: that. It's like a 10 lasso. Gotta go. What do you want outta this? What? What needs big to get done? All right. And if the goal is there you, how do you reverse engineer when you focus on that? Mm-hmm. In that reverse engineering planning. You're gonna know, like, I remember my boss said X, Y, ZI remember this. Yeah. Or you know what? I don't remember shit about what this person told me about themselves. They could be, you know, sewing, kitten, mittens all day, whatever. Yeah. But this is what the account meets like right now, I need this. I have this idea. Let me pitch it. You go in there with con, and people always say this, go in there with confidence. Like, you know what? It's not always easy to do that. Like even when you're really driven and that's okay, but when you go there and you stay at it, be like, listen, here's the problem. We gotta fix this. I think we should do this, or, I don't know what to do, but I want to do this. You think that no one's gonna reply or respond favorably to. Kiana: Yeah. It's like how you phrase it. I think it's like a, a matter of that dynamic with a manager or somebody who's above you. It's like if you go to a leader and you say, these things at this company are stupid and I think we should do this bad intro. Fun fact. That was my approach at the beginning of my career. That was me being my authentic self and being honest of what I thought. When I was in a meeting and I heard a really bad idea, I'd say, oof, that's a really bad idea. Not, not the version of the authentic self I needed to bring. Like as much as you know, people knew I was saying what's on my mind to some extent. One didn't need to, didn't need to open my mouth. Two should not have addressed it that way. Now, if I went to my manager and I had approached it as. Don't understand this thing in this company. It doesn't make sense to me. Can you help me understand it? I'm wondering if it's kind of like this and it maybe starts helping them get in the direction of like buying into your idea. Maybe. It's almost their idea. It's a 50 50 year. That's like an easier way to like go against them, I think, or like think other ideas. But it really is about being really intentional and I don't think most of us are, we're intentional about, I want a job and I wanna make money. We're intentional about, I wanna keep my job, so I'm gonna do the things that I think I'm supposed to do to keep that job. But what we're not intentional about is at the end of the day, every single one of these jobs and every single one of the jobs you have in your future will all be based on relationships and. It, it will always show up. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kiana: Maybe we're less intentional with our relationships because we think it's a natural thing, like we socialize all day so I can do it at work. Because of that, you like have a massive blind spot. People can take your work, like if you share your ideas too much, if you're not careful. Right. If you're not, I guess, thoughtful about the types of relationships you're building, like let's say you have a work bestie, so the only, only about so much more we can always talk about is your work bestie so much more. We can, Kiana: there are 500 other people, there are 500 other people you need to talk to the 500 other people because those are the relationships that you're gonna carry on and you need to expand yourself, right? So, so many amazing lessons here. Regina. You're definitely gonna have to come back. I know, I'm like, there's Tara said her best. You are whimsy. You are entertaining. I think you are incredibly brilliant. So thank you so much. Oh really? Is there anything you're working on or we can shout out your business as well. It, it doesn't just roll up tongue spelling it a little bit of how, if somebody wants to, maybe either on LinkedIn Kiana: hire you 'cause you're so awesome. You know, or Kiana: get in touch, what do you got going on in your life? Yeah, so if you get, if you find me on LinkedIn, uh, on my profile is my website. It's obviously my information, it's my cell sheet, you know, all the stuff that I've done. And the thing is, I've done so much that I don't have an elevator pitch, plus I'm old as fuck and I don't care. And that'll get, that'll get Kiana: in. I have rediscovered carbs with a vengeance. Oh, uh, um, no. So I, uh, I do anything and everything that falls under marketing communications from digital to social to some of it is just like, let's talk. Yes. Yes. Well, I mean, you see, so I've had to put up with so much stuff to get there, and I'm like, but you're, you're not, you're not taking food outta my mouth just because you wanna be an asshole. I deserve to be here. Kiana: Literally, I would say. Kiana: I looked at her sales kit, everything. She is not kidding. Literally everything. I know. Yeah, Tara: exactly. Kiana: And that's and. And that is like, I think for everybody that listens to this show, right? The stage of life you're at, where you're truly, you're so authentic. You share your ideas. You can have that authority in the room, but you don't have that day zero. It takes a lot to get there. A lot. And today, Rajni gave us one piece closer to getting everybody listening closer to that day a little faster. So thank you for that. I think the big takeaways from the episode here, there were a lot, but I will go through the top five. Number one, question, everything, it's not just not trusting, right, but it's really just about like, can I trust this? Don't just auto. Default into a mode where you walk in and you trust something, take a pause, question it. This is a different environment. This is a different space. Even if you're moving between companies and one company had something that's similar to the new business question, it anyways. You will never regret asking the question, but you will regret not asking. Observe before you give the trust, right? So ask the question, but also pay attention. People tell you who they are. People give you signals. There are behaviors, there are talking points. There are so many things that you can pick up on from somebody and. Going into number three, when you're intentional about your relationships, you pay attention to those things. And then two more like let's just say safety precaution ones. Just be thoughtful about who you share ideas with, where you're talking, where you're sharing information, where you're maybe talking shit about your boss or where you're doing these other like be mindful companies have access, they can see things. And the last, but not least, and I can't think of anyone to embody this more, but be authentic. Be yourself. Do not lose yourself throughout all of the hell, don't lose hope. You will find yourself again. I, it may be really bad, it may be hard time. There might some, some questioning moments towards yourself instead of others. I know that's how it was for me, baby. Now you're gonna, Kiana: after two years, I'm back to baby at now. And I can confirm, like you may lose yourself sometimes, but you can find yourself again, Okay. If this episode hit home, please like, follow, subscribe, rate. I don't know, do something. Give us to your friend. Tell somebody about how great Rodney is, or maybe add her on LinkedIn. I don't know. That is all for how to survive your boss's episode today. Thank you everybody. Peace and love. Tara: Peace and love.